Self-esteem begins in the brain, not in the mirror. It can change the manner in which you comprehend your worth and value. Therefore, it is a major piece of your well-being.
By definition, self-esteem is the manner by which you value and regard yourself as an individual—it is the assessment you have for yourself all around. It impacts how you deal with yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically. It is about your entire self, not just simply your appearance.
At the point when it's positive, you trust yourself, and you realize that you deserve good care and respect — from yourself and from others. You also acknowledge and praise your qualities and your capacities, and you don't put yourself down on the off chance that you commit an error. Good self-esteem implies that you continue to desire you are adequate even when you’re coping with difficult feelings or situations. It is relatively stable and enduring, although it may fluctuate due to circumstances that occur in our lives that we might take as a personal reflection of our own worth and value as a person, for the better or worse. When it hits our self-esteem for the worse, we appear to take a more pessimistic and critical look at ourselves and our lives. We additionally feel less ready to take on the difficulties that life tosses at us. When it hits our self-esteem for the better, we need to feel more confident, out-going and happier.
Low self-esteem usually starts in adolescence. Our instructors, companions, family, and even the media send us encouraging and derogatory messages about ourselves. The word that you're “not good enough” is, for whatever reason, the one that sticks with you. Maybe you found it hard to live up to your expectations of other people, or to your own expectations. Things of stress and tough life, including serious illness or bereavement, may have a detrimental impact on self-esteem. Character can likewise have an impact. Some people are just more inclined towards negative thinking, while others set unthinkably high standards for themselves as a way to overcompensate for feeling not good enough or feeling like they’re a failure.
Moreover, low self-esteem has a negative effect on our ability to overcome challenges and the deceptions of life. This affects all our relationships including our relationship with ourselves. We feel vulnerable when our self-esteem is diminished, equate ourselves to others, and question and criticize ourselves. We do not recognize our value or honor, and express our needs and wishes. Alternatively, we can be self-sacrificing, deferred to others, or trying to manipulate them and/or their feelings towards us to feel better about ourselves. We might, for example, people please, manipulate, control or debase them. We also unintentionally devalue ourselves despite our good qualities and strengths allowing us to be hyper-sensitive to criticisms. We may likewise be reluctant to attempt new things, since we may come up short.
While low self-esteem is not in itself classified as a mental health condition, there are clear links between how we feel about ourselves and our overall mental and emotional well-being. We all have times when we are lacking confidence and feeling no good about ourselves. But when low self-esteem is a long-term issue it will affect our mental health and our everyday lives. This is a potentially risky way of living, with studies relating low self-esteem to mental health problems and poor quality of life.
Here are a few ways on how low self-esteem can influence our mental health:
Poor Relations. As humans, we aspire to connect with others and help identify ourselves as individuals through the interactions we share with those nearest to us. That is why negative relationships eventually produce negative emotions and a pessimistic self-perception.
Addiction. Psychological studies show that low self-esteem in childhood and early adulthood may be a predisposition in later life to addictions. Many addicts use substances like alcohol or drugs to help ease their negative feelings about themselves. Yet over time, this form of escapism grows into an obsession and this of course has negative effects on their already diminished levels of self-esteem.
Depression and anxiety. Low self-esteem, with other mental health conditions like depression and anxiety, tends to work in a vicious cycle. It's impossible to tell which comes first because depression and low self-esteem can behave as two sides of the same coin wherein the mixture is both normal and problematic at the same time for although low self-esteem makes people vulnerable to depression, depression can utterly kill self-esteem. Someone who already lives with a mental illness may find that because of the social stigma surrounding mental illness, low self-esteem is developing. Stigma can perpetuate the feeling they failed in some way.
To boost your self-esteem, here are some tips that may help you feel better about yourself.
Recognize what you're good at. Whether it's dancing, a sport (eg., gymnastics, running, football), a type of physical activity (e.g., hiking, surfing) singing, painting, cooking or being a friend, we're all good at something. We also appear to love doing positive stuff and can help improve your mood.
Re-frame negative thoughts. Negative thinking is simply the impetus for both low self-esteem and depression. The more one thinks contrarily, the less capable they are to see themselves and their general surroundings in a precise light. Not long enough, the negative thoughts will act on a loop like an old record which keeps skipping, causing the same lyric to play again and again. Say you've taken on a career or and you're feeling stressed right now. Currently your thoughts might sound like, "Why did I chose this career in the first place? I never get things done on time. I was dumb to think I can handle this job.” You can decide to replace those negative thoughts with a positive and more genuine one, something as simple as, "I'm doing better every day at this job and am proceeding to gain ground." A good self-esteem isn't tied in with being great or believing you're flawless when you're not. Nobody is flawless or “perfect”. It is tied in with recognizing your qualities and tolerating your shortcomings and acknowledging you're similar to every other person – human and perfectly imperfect. Positive self-talk can go far to helping you feel progressively enabled and sure.
Build positive relationships. You deserve to be surrounded by people who recognize your strengths, and not your shortcomings. When you encounter any people who seem to drag you down, seek to spend less time with them or tell them how you feel about their comments or acts. Seek to develop healthy relationships with people who respect you and are happy. This may also involve finding the constructive guidance of a therapist who will work with you to evaluate and eliminate unhealthy modes of behavior. When we don't have a clear self-perception it will come from an impartial third person to have a different viewpoint.
Be kind to yourself and practice self-care. Being compassionate to yourself in moments where you feel like being self-critical means being nice to yourself. Though you may feel you don't deserve it, you'll send positive messages to your subconscious mind by treating yourself that you're worth it. Consider having a nice time out doing an activity you love to do, or book yourself in for a body treatment such as a sauna or massage. There are also options where you don't even have to spend money such as spending time reading a book or watching a movie, going for a walk in nature or doing something that inspires you, you show yourself that you are worth it.
Learn to be assertive. Being assertive is tied in with regarding others' assessments and needs, and anticipating the equivalent from them. One trick is to look into other people who are acting assertively and copying what they are doing. It is not about believing that you are someone you are not. It's soaking up ideas and suggestions from people you're admiring, and getting out the real one within you.
Start saying "no". People with poor self-esteem sometimes believe they always have to say yes to others, even though they just don't want to. The risk that comes with it, however, is being overburdened, resentful, frustrated and discouraged. Reality check, most of the time saying no will not upset your relationship with others so don’t feel pressured in saying yes.
Give yourself a challenge. There are moments where we all feel anxious or scared to do anything. Yet people with good self-esteem do not cause such emotions to deter them from doing new activities or coming up with obstacles. Set yourself a goal like going to a dancing or singing class. Attaining your goals will help your self-esteem grow. You may have low confidence now because of what happened when you grew up, but at any age we can grow and develop new ways of looking at ourselves.
Developing self-esteem is important. When we learn to love ourselves we strive for a better life- a healthier relationship, a fuller career, or an addiction recovery. But it's not easy to overcome the deep-rooted thoughts that we have about ourselves and sometimes experts prescribe a sort of counseling to get at the real causes behind our pessimistic thinking about ourselves.
The goal then is to question and change these negative musings into progressively positive, helpful ones that help to move ourselves and our lives forward. It's also important to learn how to respect and care for your mind and body through a balanced lifestyle. The first step in reclaiming physical and emotional confidence may be healthy food, exercise and meditation. It is critical that we connect deeply with those we love as well. Feeling cherished and upheld and having the option to offer the love and support consequently, is a wonderful way to begin increasing self-esteem. If you have no immediate friends or family then consider joining or even volunteering in a support group. Aiding someone is a perfect means of supporting yourself.
Looking to enhance and practice your overall mental and physical wellbeing? Check out our online courses! All courses are FREE for now, so get in quick and sign up today!
Stay happy, healthy and well!